Dear Acey: OK, Acey, or Spacey, or whatever your stupid name is, cut
to the chase. Tell it like it is. How do I win at poker? I mean it
really, I do! How do I play and win?
Dear Deadly Due-Right: If you really want to win at poker I mean
really win a few bucks on a regular basis you must do exactly as
I tell you. And I do mean exactly.
First, you must be focused and physically
and emotionally stable before trying to play. If anything is bothering
you for example, youre tired or angry, have a toothache,
upset stomach, or head cold, or its the anniversary of your divorce
you must not play.
Second, you must find a game with
at least two weak players. If your game does not have two poor poker players
two live fish you must not play. Game selection is critical
to winning. Play only in favorable games ones in which you are
the big favorite.
Third, be very selective of the hands
that you decide to play. You must have premium cards, the right position,
and the right opponents playing against you (meaning one or two of the
poor players). If you dont, you must not play. You must be very
patient. Patience is golden. Play premium hands against weak players.
Then, ram and jam them hit em hard.
Fourth, play only as long as you are
the big favorite. Once you are not a favorite in the game, take your money
and run run like hell.
Deadly Due-Right, thats it. Its a rather simple scheme, but
most players find it hard to do. Why are these four things so hard to
do? Because some people behave like children; they just want to have fun.
This ultratight, superselective style of play is not fun
its boring. Most players are impatient, and do not wait for the
right hand, at the right time, in the right place. Instead, they try to
force the action which is not always a winning play. Also of note
is that most regular players in public cardrooms read Card Player, and
are skilled and knowledgeable players, which doesnt help game selection
one bit. Finally, most players are greedy about their winnings. They think
their winning ways will never stop, even when they are no longer big favorites.
That, of course, is not true. So, Deadly Due-Right, do exactly as I say
and you will win a few bucks at poker. However, I predict you will soon
become bored and frustrated, since you strike me as the type of player
for whom playing ultratight and superselective is no fun.